


Can't Be Alright

by sanva



Category: Supernatural RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 04:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanva/pseuds/sanva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey. So here's the thing. I said some stupid stuff. I told you some things that weren't true and now we're both suffering 'cause I can't shut my big mouth. We just... get this way sometimes right? It's all we are and you're all I've got so just call me back okay? I can't be alright until I know we are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Be Alright

**Author's Note:**

> anyothergirl415 posted this prompt: Hey. So here's the thing. I said some stupid stuff. I told you some things that weren't true and now we're both suffering 'cause I can't shut my big mouth. We just... get this way sometimes right? It's all we are and you're all I've got so just call me back okay? I can't be alright until I know we are.
> 
> Originally Posted: 9-20-2009

  


 

 _Hey. So here's the thing. I said some stupid stuff. I told you some things that weren't true and now we're both suffering 'cause I can't shut my big mouth. We just . . . get this way sometimes right? It's all we are and you're all I've got so just call me back okay? I can't be alright until I know we are._

Jensen dropped the phone onto the bed, it bounced slightly against the comforter before sliding off the edge and landing on the floor. He didn't bother moving to pick it up.

It had been two hours since the fight, two long and tense hours. His arms were still shaking a little from all the thoughts, possibilities, fears, running through his mind. He clenched his fingers into the rough material of his jeans, watching as the blood flow was disrupted and his knuckles turned white.

In retrospect the fight was stupid. Nothing more than tension over something that didn't even exist. His 'relationship' with Danneel; Jared's 'relationship' with Genevieve. Two friendships that the world, and a good number of their friends, thought were more. In reality they were just friendships, hiding the real relationship that only their families, a few friends, and some rather insightful fans knew—or guessed—about.

While in some ways the argument had been Jared's fault, it was partly on Jensen as well. It had been PR's idea for him and Danneel to go to that event, make themselves visible. Nothing new and nothing happened. Nothing would ever happen. Danneel wasn't remotely interested in him that way anyway. She'd rather be with Genevieve then him any day (and often was, even if it was just as friends).

Unclenching his hand, Jensen forced him self to draw in a deep breath. To calm his mind and body. Jared had said some pretty stupid stuff. Jealous stuff. It wasn't really the younger man's fault—even if it really was. Jensen completely understood the tension that coursed through his boyfriend. His new boyfriend, a boyfriend that had never had a boyfriend before, never had to parade a fake relationship in front of fans to hide reality.

So yeah, Jensen understood but the words had stung and burrowed into wounds he'd thought were long since hidden deep away. It had hurt, more than anything anyone had ever said before to him. More than words slung on the playground as a little kid when others found those modeling shots and taunted him on the playground. More than the insults whispered to him due to his girlish looks in high school. More than hearing people call him disgusting for his sexuality practically to his face- even though they never actually knew his sexuality.

And now the ball was in his court. Jared's voice had passed it to him with an apology, sincere and sorrowful. There was no doubt inside him that the words that were spoken this time were actually meant.

It was his turn to decide the next move, to organize and execute a course of action. Opening his eyes Jensen scanned the floor for his phone, leaning down to pick it up.

In all this there was only one thing that was truly real. And Jensen? Jensen couldn't be alright till it was all okay.


End file.
